my tree...

so yesterday I found out that my birth tree is the...

Walnut Tree, the Passion

somehow this ties in with being...

unrelenting, strange and full of contrasts, often egoistic, aggressive, noble, broad horizon, unexpected reactions, spontaneous, unlimited ambition, no flexibility, difficult and uncommon partner, not always liked but often admired, ingenious strategist, very jealous and passionate, no compromises.

oddly enough, most of this is probably true though not all easy to admit. the egoistic thing is a problem which ties in with neurosis (neurosis is a psychiatric term that refers to a class of functional mental disorder involving distress but not delusions or hallucinations, where behavior is not outside socially acceptable norms.) i love this definition. i don't like to think that i have a mental disorder, but at least i'm functional and not outside socially acceptable norms =) anyway being neurotic means i have anxiety and phobias, but the interesting thing is that that all comes from thinking about myself too much or being egoistic-which is what i'm doing right now, right.

so i recently heard a quote - "Knowing yourself is the beginning of all wisdom." ~Aristotle i don't believe this. i believe that knowing God is the beginning of all wisdom, but knowing yourself might be next. when i saw this quote, my first thought was, well then there's no hope for me, because i don't think i'll ever understand myself or any other person for that matter. people are complicated and i'm one of them. honestly even though i focus on my own feelings and opinions i haven't taken time to look at myself objectively. i think this could be a good thing. i can be my own psychiatrist. wait-is that a good idea?

one thing that's true about me is that i love to laugh at myself. i know i'm a mess and i love it when my husband teases me, because it makes light of it i guess. plus, i guess it feels good to know that even though he knows all these things about me he still loves me and can laugh about them too.

ok this is getting way out of hand. this is probably my longest blog ever and it's all about me.