old but new...

So I originally wrote this blog just before Christmas, but I never posted it. Today I decided to blog something (sort of a forced blog); and when I opened my app, I found this old blog here. I thought it was kind of sweet so I'm posting it. I think somewhere about half-way through, I knew I was just going to delete it, so I just kept rambling to see if I could somehow get inspired to write something worthwhile. So being that no one was ever meant to read this, this is kind of a treat for you. At the same time, it may serve as an explanatory apology as to why I haven't been blogging lately, namely because all efforts have been rather unsatisfactory. It may be interesting to note that today "I have nothing to write" just as I stated at the beginning of this old blog here, & I may very well have started today's blog in the same fashion. Also I am still dreaming about my bookshop. In fact, I've been working on an old book project non-stop for the past three days. (When I say non-stop, what I mean is that I do stop sometimes, but not very often.) We've been talking about talking in absolutes & exaggerations around here lately and how we should probably stop, but I'm sure I won't. Some people feel a need to romanticize and I think it's safe to include me in that general category. Those other people who live here may try to stop, but I doubt they will succeed. Incase you are wondering, the old book project I am working on is me categorizing all of our old books into a searchable database. It's pretty cool. So anyway, here's the blog. Ben finished my picture by the way. It's awesome! I love it so much. Anybody who wants to see it can email me & I'll send him/her a real live photo of it. Enjoy...

I have nothing to write. But sometimes even when you don't feel like writing, you just have to write something, even if you just embarrass yourself, even if you mispell words and use incorrect grammar. Because if you don't, and if you worry too much about what other people think, then you just become a clam, clammy & cold & hidden. Ben is painting me a picture. It's Albrecht Durer's Young Hare. It's one of my favorite paintings & I'm posting a copy of it here. My puppy just came in the room. He's so sleepy. It's 8am, but he slept in today. He usually gets up with me around 7, but this morning I was up before 5:30 & he wanted nothing to do with it. I really really have nothing to say, so let's just start the newsreel. It's almost Christmas. (My sleepy puppy has just decided to go back to sleep.) The fire is dying. The sun is a bright orange fireball, florescent orange, looking exceptionally trendy this morning. There's snow everywhere & the orange sun is casting a pinkish haze on the frosty trees. Next to the sky blue sky, I have to admit this is not my favorite combo. I never have been a fan of pink & blue together. I just want to swirl it around with the white snow & make lavender. The sun really is amazing though! but I'm trying not to stare because it's rude. Just outside my window there are several brown leaves still clinging to some low branches & I want to go outside & pluck them off. And now I'm completely distracted. K. The news. The kids have all been busy making Christmas presents, well almost all. Ben recently put up some barn beams in the house & they look awesome. Hannah & Em helped me clear all of the antiques out of the basement room & we're planning to make a sort of indoor fort down there. I wrapped all of my Christmas presents in red & black this year & they look awesome. We have a live tree. It is adorable. This year we have an Advent wreath. As we count down to Christmas, we light a new candle each week; & we read a section of the Christmas story each night (not just the story about wise men and angels, but the whole Christmas story starting with Adam & Eve & the promise to Abraham & prophesy, etc...). It's pretty neat. Ben plays guitar & we sing caroIs. Okay, this is unrelated, sort of, but I just remembered something. I think I have a new dream. I used to think I wanted to grow up & be a coffee pedlar or a photographer, but now I think I want to be a bookseller. Maybe I will have an adjoining coffee shop, kind of like a borders for used books. There's an old bookshop downtown and I want it, the whole messy place. I want to organize it & shelve it and sit behind the counter & wait to see who will come in; & if no one comes in, then I'll just read or work on my window display. I think this is the best way to grow old, in a bookstore with snow on the ground, and a coffee shop nearby.