checking up, checking out...

illustration by Roger Duvoisin

So, we're here for a checkup (me, myself, & I). Not even sure if I can do this anymore, but once upon a time I had a habit of writing things down. Even though it was very time consuming, somehow that was never a problem, so I'm relying on that bit of magic to kick in. It does sort of look after me you know (the blog), so this picture is quite meaningful. I know that, and I know you know that, but this is all part of the re-introductory process. Baby steps. I'll certainly be a bit wobbly at first, but as I recall, to do this, you just have to dive right in. I'd like to start with a list of excuses, all of which you've heard before, but heaping them all up into a nice neat pile may help me feel better. Okay, so I just did that in my mind. It did help though. Whining helps too... Did you know that typing on the computer kills my arm (carpel tunnel- self diagnosis) and this morning I have in only one contact lens, which is making typing rather an adventure. Great! So glad to get that off my chest. Paranoia- that's a thing. It's not so much paranoia of being judged for my writing, but paranoia that someone is watching. they are watching you know.

Each of the kids has come in this morning (into the kitchen) and remarked at my click clacking on the keyboard vs. the usual scrolling posture- chai and scrolling, that's how I usually start my day and I'm thinking... 'that's gotta stop." I'm not working on any New Year's resolutions or anything, but I do love a fresh start and I'm super excited about this new year in which I hope to live a more purpose- driven life. I'm not sure if that's the right phrase and it's in no way referencing the book carrying the same title (which I have never read), it just came out that way. In fact, now I want to delete it. (Don't you hate that? Like when you want to name your cat Twilight and everyone thinks you're referencing some teen novel which you have also never read.) But what I mean is, you have to make choices in this life, which way you will go, how you will get there, and how quickly, etc... and if you don't make up your mind, and expect someone else to do all the choosing, they certainly will do it for you. You will find yourself rattling around in a cart being pulled by a team of horses who just run in ay direction because they can. Some creatures were simply built to run...

{That is where it stops. This is an old draft I dug up that never went anywhere. I'm posting it now, because it's the only blog I have for the whole year of 2018, it is very sad- very sad only, so let's not think about it.}